A note to the girl who's lost her footing

You have two options.

choose faith or choose fear.

Dear Girl who’s lost her footing…

I don’t know about anyone else but 2020 started off with so many successes and even though I could tell God was positioning me for a shift, I didn’t realize how big a shift it would be.

As I’m sure you know I am the founder of a global christian women’s community called “The Loving Me Academy” where I serve daily and we kicked things off this year with a new addition to our schedule, the “Faith Unleashed Tour!” It was suppose to be a five city tour with different focus events in each city. Jammed pack with speakers, food, games, and dope vendors. BUT that was halted when the corona virus popped up on the scene and lives were being impact daily. (This was the first blow that caught me off guard)

Shortly after the corona virus I found out I was pregnant! This was something I had prayed for so naturally you’d think I be completely excited BUT after loosing one baby before I ever got to hold them, love them, or protect them you begin to realize how the potential of another pain like that turns joy into fear. So here I was smiling with the idea that this could be my second chance but suffering silently because I was dancing with the devil and his seeds of doubt. (This was the second blow that caught me off guard)

I remember being in the kitchen getting some work done on my laptop when I saw Ed’s face almost lifeless looking at me. In such disbelief and pain he attempted to walk away and shield me from what he had just seen. When I asked what it was his response “I just watched a man die” threw me through a whirlwind in a matter of seconds. When he said “another officer killed a black man” the familiarity of the scenario almost made me opt out of watching but something in me said WATCH, and I did. To see this video and this poor man cry out and to witness the neglect and care on this white officers face pained me to my soul. All i could do was cry! (This was the third blow that caught me off guard)

In each of these instances I felt so hopeless but the gravity of my pain increased month after month.

If this is not the first time you’ve graced my blog or my platform than you KNOW I truly am a realist and I lay my heart on thick at the foot of Jesus. But this last one hit so hard. I didn’t really know what to say, I didn’t really know what to think, I didn’t really know what to do as I looked around and saw confusion not just amongst the world but amongst BELIEVERS! I was so conflicted until my natural instinct was to give up and my spirit man kicked into default: PRAYER & TRUST & OBEDIENCE.

My question to you is this: When your natural gives out what foundation (similar to a backup generator) kicks in?

Listen… there are a few things God shared with me during these moments of loosing my footing and I want to share them with you as a means to encourage you through this season of your walk and to challenge you to focus in the middle of your storm and trails.

Daily Affirmations For Your Backup Generation:

1. Your faith is not established during the storm; it’s established before the storm.

What you do before the storms rages and the winds are knocking at your sails and foundation will be what you have to hold onto and navigate through the moments of low visibility. As christians there is a reason God sends blessings and their is equal importance when God sends warnings! We can NOT let satan fool us into thinking when life is sweet we have all the faith we need and we begin to drift away from the principles to meditate on Gods word day and night. *Just like you need God on your worst day, you need God on your best day

2. During the storm is not when you “Question” your faith. During the storm is when you “Activate” faith!

I can’t tell you how many phone calls and text messages I got when the pandemic hit and how that intensified when George Floyd got murdered. As black people and especially black mothers there was such a great pull to ACT. As much as I felt justified in responding as a black mother with the potential to have another black son God had to remind me of this one truth: Before you are a black woman you are MY child. John 15:5 says I am the vine and you are the branches apart from me you will bear NO fruit. So many people allowed anger and rage to dismantle their roots and cause them to question their faith. As scary as the pandemic was and as angering as the senseless murder of George Floyd I refused to allow the world to push me to a place where I neglect the YEARS of growing and grooming my faith.

3. Obedience isn’t only about doing WHAT God says. Obedience is doing the WHAT at the point WHEN God says and HOW God says to do it.

During the pandemic I truly wanted to remain going to church and singing on the choir and even though its a good thing to do for the Kingdom, God told me to rely on the wisdom of my husband. And He was not going lol After George Floyd was murdered and I saw so many people posting and sharing and speaking out in anger about the black experience and injustice I wanted to conjure up the world to join in any way i could but I was so lost. So lost that again I had to default back to PRAYER & TRUST & OBEDIENCE. And God spoke to me and said Play Your Position, I was then led to read Romans 12:4 where its says we are Many Parts but ONE body in Christ. Then God gave me this analogy: If the hands, feet and heart all attempt to be the mouthpiece what happens to the body? Literally is the heart looses sight of purpose and runs to be the mouthpiece THE BODY DIES. God said to me You are the heart we need the blood flow of love in the war because this is just pone battle and we can’t afford to be taken out here. So hard to swallow but as i stayed on position I understood. I want to say this: The moment you operate outside of love check and see if you’re still in position.

4. Lastly, When you seemingly are loosing or have lost your footing read these two scriptures: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-13 and Romans 8: 35-39.

Yes READ!! Allow God to remind you that Love is what found you, love is what saved you and it will be love that protects you. Sometimes we fall into these seasons of feeling like WE don’t deserve love and other times we feel like OTHER PEOPLE don’t deserve love but God reminds us that we are all in need of grace and the only thing that will place our feet back on solid ground is trusting and believing in Him!

So even when you feel like you’ve slipped and lost your footing. Trust that your foundation will catch you. But that means first you must not neglect the building of your floor.

Sincerely, Lady J

XoXo

A note to the girl loosing faith

Not every Success story starts with a smile!

Last year in August Edward and I prepared to tell the world that we were expecting a new addition to our family and literally days before we announced to everyone I was told that my baby had no heartbeat and all the blood had left it’s body!!

I’ve never experienced an out-of-body moment like this all my life.

QUICKLY life began to unravel and my mind was consumed with so many thoughts, feelings, and decisions. One of the first things God said to me was Journal how you feel so we can process. Second was Him assuring me that loosing the baby was nothing that I did or didn’t do. It was a hard pill to swallow because those thoughts were there, but He revealed to me the harsh reality that in the world we live in, not only do people fail us, but our own bodies fall short as well.

So as the week progressed it seemed like everything around me was crumbling (Talk about satan kicking you while you’re down 🙄) It started with me having the actually miscarriage while at home praying for a friend that was pregnant AND me babysitting my sisters two kids WHILE Ed was away for work and ended with me receiving bad news from both my sister and my brother. Honestly, as the minister in my family I tend to take the weight from my siblings spiritually so it seemed all too heavy, BUT GOD!

I remember me and Ed falling into this really really bad place where for literally a week we MAYBE said 2 sentences to each other. It was after that week I remember satan saying to me “And this is the God you serve, who will kill your baby and never give you life again,” and as harsh and crazy as that sounds I know I am not the only one who has experienced such words that sound kinda believable. BUT knowing the truth of Gods character and the love in His word I quickly snapped back to satan “God loves me and you done messed up because my unborn child WILL be someone’s miracle baby. And for everything you took from me I will birth more vision in women then you can imagine, I will produce more seeds to flourish than you can count and I will produce more freedom to birth in women you’ve held captive in years!!” And just in two short weeks I release my very first single “Used By You.” Something I had been so afraid to birth in years.

Fast Forward… After praying and believing God for a turnaround I have announced my pregnancy with baby #3 and child #4. For so long it was hard for me to be excited in fear that I wouldn’t be blessed enough to see and hold this child either but God always reassures me that His promises are YES and AMEN! This is for my Rainbow Baby (a child delivered after mommy has a miscarriage/still birth) and for the mommies praying and believing God for a miracle: Don’t loose sight of the promise because one day you will look up and be in the promise land hoping you’d spent more days smiling on the journey.

Every process may not be perfect or exactly how you want it but in the end I realize I am stronger and more equipped for my blessings because I trusted God in the process to my promise. Life will give you reason to doubt and people will give you reason to loose hope but when you make up in your mind that God is amazing on the good days, hold fast to that same truth on days when the light seems dim. I promise you’ll make it though this sis and I will be right here to cheer you on when you reach the other side.

Speak Truth, Spread Love

Sincerely, Lady J

Scriptures to help in times when you seem to be loosing faith:

2 Corinthians 1:20 (For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.)

Proverbs 3: 5-6 (Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths)

Psalms 28:7 (The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him)

Romans 15:13 (May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope)

Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope)

A note to the girl overcoming defeat.

Three things I learned about overcoming defeat:

*Your position in the waiting room matters

* The “no” you’re given doesn’t close the book it just ends the sentence.

* God Cares about your Heart more than your EGO

Oh Heeey SIS.

I’m honored you have come to read one of my many love letters. As you know this letter is especially written for YOU. The girl overcoming defeat. The girl who thought one no meant she wasn’t enough. The girl who said well if they don’t accept my gift than maybe this “thing” really isn’t a gift at all.

I want to start off this letter by giving you some affirmations that I had to remind myself when my circumstances became my identity and the voices became louder than my God.

• You are fully equipped by the masters hand

• Before they told you no, God claimed you were HIS yes

• Your gifts were anointed by the assurance of God not the opinion of men

• The only truth you accept is the truth of Gods word

• You are not the enemy so stop beating yourself up

• Walk in Faith, never in fear

• You were created to do one thing, WIN

• Jesus died for your only option, LIVE and live ABUNDANTLY

Okay sis so listen, when I say:

*Your position in the waiting room matters

What I’m saying is your posture and position makes a difference. When I felt like I was creating blogs, starting communities, posting on Instagram, shouting out the big-names on Facebook, going to conferences, meeting influencers I though my time was surely here but the reality is I was only busy. I hadn’t asked God where He wanted me to be or where I should focus my time and attention.

I remember this one time I cried out and I said “God I’m doing all of this for you and I feel like I’m getting nowhere” and He said no…… you did that for YOUR name sake and you’re doing good, but when it comes time to do what I’M asking you to do don’t be to busy doing you that you don’t fulfill ME.

Talk about mind blown

When I accepted the truth of how I was out of position I slowly placed my focus on His instructions and became willing to do it His way. Your position matters because you can be doing a lot of good things and getting nowhere with God.

So the reality Is when you’re out of position your posture is probably messed up as well. Sometimes we don’t realize our posture of Pride, entitlement, defeat or even victim! Trust me I’ve been in all of them. The one thing all of these postures have in common is blinders. When you are prideful you’re to focused on SELF to see God. When entitled you see other people’s lack over how God can use you to make up the gap. When defeated your to focused on self-sabotage you can’t see victory or the weapons to use for battle. When you are always feeling, talking, and acting like the victim you can never see when God is pruning you for greater and attempting to shed your dead weight.

* The “no” you’re given doesn’t close the book it just ends the sentence.

This year God called me to host a 5-City “Faith Unleashed” Tour. Let me first say I’ve hosted an online women’s conference called “Falling In Love with ME” for 4 years now and this year as He opened door for me to go before people He didn’t say do a small gathering He said FIVE CITIES and start in two months!!

Listen, when its God’s WILL it is God’s BILL!

You can’t afford to pay for doubt when God gave you the best banker in the universe! You don’t have to take on purpose and the promise of God alone. He never asked you to and He never will. Trusting God is key to overcoming the no’s. I even heard God clear as day tell me to reach out to one lady in particular to be a speaker for the tour and she told me “no.” Sisssssss I was salty, offended, and confused. Why God would you have me to ask If she was going to say no.

Lesson One

Your obedience is your obligation and so is the obedience of all who are called. You just have to stay YOUR course and allow God’s word to be sent out because Isaiah 55:11 reminds us that His word shall NOT return unto Him Void but It will accomplish what He established. Lastly remember this, God doesn’t need your ability He just needs your obedience. I’m sure you’ve said NO a time or two when God said say YES.

Lesson Two

When applying for grants, event spaces, vendors, and even inviting attendees I have got probably 100 no’s or people just ignoring & ghosting me but in the matter of 2 months I have received some key Yes’s that I know could have ONLY been God and made some amazing friends along this journey in obedience.

Lesson Three

Focus on your YES and not your NO. Slowing down is not an option because of an ending on a sentence. Imagine if the moment Jesus heard Peter say He couldn’t go to the cross, and He stopped, how many of us would be lost due to an incomplete book? I don’t care how many no’s I got, Gods yes meant more!

and lastly sis,

* God Cares about your Heart more than your EGO

You can be honest…. we’ve all gotten a big head a time or two in life. We sell that first book, book that first engagement, or pray for someone for the first time and we feel accomplished. And the moment the accolades stop rolling in we looking at God like KEEP EM COMING hahahahahahah.

When you understand your “WHY” in life, in ministry, in purpose…. keep it close to your heart because in this walk as a Christian you will have two options as it pertains to success: Stay humble or Be humbled! It does not matter how bad you want to be used by God when it’s not the right time, it’s not the right time! It is okay to be in the development phase. How else will you be shaped for greatness?

I’ve become so heart broken because I felt like I should have been used at certain moments when God chose someone else. And the fact that I felt some way shows me His Kingdom, His honor, and His glory weren’t the main objectives. And no matter how long, hard, or loud you cry God is not going to birth pre-maturely for the sake of your EGO!

So sis: Don’t allow a setback to be your final destination allow God to regroup & relaunch you! There is so much purpose in you that others need, just develop in God’s presence with the right posture and trust that He will guide you to the expected end.

Well Love you dearly & as always

Speak Truth, Spread Love

Sincerely, Lady J

ps.. Scriptures to ponder:

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 1:3

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecclesiastes 3:11

“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end— it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3