A note to the girl loosing faith

Not every Success story starts with a smile!

Last year in August Edward and I prepared to tell the world that we were expecting a new addition to our family and literally days before we announced to everyone I was told that my baby had no heartbeat and all the blood had left it’s body!!

I’ve never experienced an out-of-body moment like this all my life.

QUICKLY life began to unravel and my mind was consumed with so many thoughts, feelings, and decisions. One of the first things God said to me was Journal how you feel so we can process. Second was Him assuring me that loosing the baby was nothing that I did or didn’t do. It was a hard pill to swallow because those thoughts were there, but He revealed to me the harsh reality that in the world we live in, not only do people fail us, but our own bodies fall short as well.

So as the week progressed it seemed like everything around me was crumbling (Talk about satan kicking you while you’re down 🙄) It started with me having the actually miscarriage while at home praying for a friend that was pregnant AND me babysitting my sisters two kids WHILE Ed was away for work and ended with me receiving bad news from both my sister and my brother. Honestly, as the minister in my family I tend to take the weight from my siblings spiritually so it seemed all too heavy, BUT GOD!

I remember me and Ed falling into this really really bad place where for literally a week we MAYBE said 2 sentences to each other. It was after that week I remember satan saying to me “And this is the God you serve, who will kill your baby and never give you life again,” and as harsh and crazy as that sounds I know I am not the only one who has experienced such words that sound kinda believable. BUT knowing the truth of Gods character and the love in His word I quickly snapped back to satan “God loves me and you done messed up because my unborn child WILL be someone’s miracle baby. And for everything you took from me I will birth more vision in women then you can imagine, I will produce more seeds to flourish than you can count and I will produce more freedom to birth in women you’ve held captive in years!!” And just in two short weeks I release my very first single “Used By You.” Something I had been so afraid to birth in years.

Fast Forward… After praying and believing God for a turnaround I have announced my pregnancy with baby #3 and child #4. For so long it was hard for me to be excited in fear that I wouldn’t be blessed enough to see and hold this child either but God always reassures me that His promises are YES and AMEN! This is for my Rainbow Baby (a child delivered after mommy has a miscarriage/still birth) and for the mommies praying and believing God for a miracle: Don’t loose sight of the promise because one day you will look up and be in the promise land hoping you’d spent more days smiling on the journey.

Every process may not be perfect or exactly how you want it but in the end I realize I am stronger and more equipped for my blessings because I trusted God in the process to my promise. Life will give you reason to doubt and people will give you reason to loose hope but when you make up in your mind that God is amazing on the good days, hold fast to that same truth on days when the light seems dim. I promise you’ll make it though this sis and I will be right here to cheer you on when you reach the other side.

Speak Truth, Spread Love

Sincerely, Lady J

Scriptures to help in times when you seem to be loosing faith:

2 Corinthians 1:20 (For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.)

Proverbs 3: 5-6 (Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths)

Psalms 28:7 (The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him)

Romans 15:13 (May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope)

Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope)